I know sleep is important but I choose to neglect it anyway, so I’m writing this as a reminder of what happens when I don’t get sleep.
The Story
I went to bed at 3 am and got up around 7:40ish. I tried going back to sleep but was mostly unsuccessful because it was already light out. Getting less than 5 hours of sleep wouldn’t be a problem if I could function well with that amount, but I’m writing to admit I can’t be the happiest version of myself with that amount. For example, It’s currently 5:37 pm and most of my day has been spent on my phone either on YouTube or surfing the web. Specifically, I’ve spent over 9 hours on my phone today. Yesterday I was on my phone for over 10 hours after only getting 3 hours of sleep (I went to bed at 5:24 am and got up at 8:45). Over the past 48 hours, I’ve gotten 6 hours of sleep. Looking at that number it makes sense why I feel like shit.When I don’t get a lot of sleep I feel powerless. It is why when I have consecutive days of staying up very late, I feel like an addict who doesn’t have the willpower to stay off my phone and go to bed at an appropriate time. The worst part of not getting enough sleep, besides being tired, is the feeling of doubt I have in this state. I don’t feel like the person who made YouTube videos for 2 years or the person who wants to start an online business. Instead, I feel powerless. I doubt my abilities and feel like I’m not doing enough.
Conclusion
I’m writing this part a little later at 9:43 pm. I have a bad headache and am feeling the effects of not getting sleep. This is one of the worst headaches I’ve had in a while and I am looking forward to getting proper rest. I’m going to track when I turn my electronic off into a Google Sheets doc. I may even start putting it in these blog posts.
This isn’t the most well-written journal entry, but it reminded me why I enjoyed doing these daily public journals. When I write, I’m forced to confront the conversations going on in my head and I get to empty my mind. Writing almost feels like cleaning my room. Until I write, the room feels cluttered. But when I write I get to organize things or at least eliminate the clutter.
TDLR
- I’m not happy and energetic when I’m sleep-deprived
- Writing every day again will help unclutter my mind